I feel like the last year has been a time of awakening for me. I have spent the last little while looking at who I have become, and how far I have come. My trips to the US and Europe have helped me to appreciate my home, and how I have taken so much for granted. Far more importantly, however, I have learned to completely remove myself from the incessant family crises. I have learned to accept that I cannot change them. They have chosen the lives they want to lead. They have chosen to put themselves into a sitation that can very easily lead to heartache and hardships. By learning to distance myself from their problems and religious faith, I have given myself the space I needed to be more comfortable in my own skin. I feel like I am on the right path towards finding myself.
It is like that one poem I wrote as a teenager, I was not really aware of the clouds blocking the sun. It was not until the clouds were breaking up that I knew just how toxic they were for me.
I love my aunt very much, but I can accept that she chooses to remain in a religion that forced her family to shun her after escaping from her abusive husband. The elders told her that JWs in concentration camps endured a great deal of abuse in Nazi Germany, but their obedience to god never waivered. It seems absolutely frightening that they would tell a battered wife this, but nevertheless, it is her decision to not let it interfere with her religious convictions. Thankfully she still had the good sense to leave her husband.
I also feel like I have a better sense of how I want to shape my future. How I want to satisfy my lust for exploration and to expand my horizons. I have even considered the possibility of raising a family of sorts later on in life. The future does not scare me anymore. I have much less anxiety about how things will end up. This is because of how I have a better sense of who I am, and I have a much better idea about what paths not to take.
Now... to try something radical and new...
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Saturday, June 25, 2011
How do you search for yourself?
I often find it difficult to understand just exactly what it is that I want in life. A psychology teacher explained to me that the self is like a candle within you that never burns out. From time to time, it may flicker, but it does not stop burning so long as you are still alive. I have come to feel as if that flame is constantly flickering, and that it is hard to understand exactly what shape it is supposed to be. It is as if there is some mechanism in my head blocking me from... well, understanding me.
It is not as much a feeling of not having a firm grip on the steering wheel, but moreso a feeling of not going in the direction I should be.
I think one of the issues I have, is the natural tendency to play it safe. To avoid making big mistakes that could seemingly end up drowning me. I think this tendency has damaged my family relationships, and may be the root cause of my inability to calm the flame within me long enough to determine whether or not I am on the right path.
I have developed a fear in recent years of playing it safe. The fear of taking the easy path stems from the fear of regrets. Looking at the previous generations, and listening to their lamentations, I have been given a glimpse into a possible future of mine. Will I be like them, people who partied in their 20s, got married, got a job, went on the odd vacation, then sat down to catch their breath only to realize it went by too fast? It seems to me that they ask that question in a way that implies that they regret choices that they made... the choice of following the model of life their parents laid out for them.
I have roots in the prairies. I feel comfortable in the wide open spaces of the country. I admire the slow pace of life, the tight-knit communities... but at the same time, I think it scares me. My father's side of the family is that atypical family that grew up from the wheat fields and small communities. My grandfather would make rye in his shed behind my grandma's back, and trade it with hooch made by neighbours. He would go down to the diner, or community hall, and play a number of instruments with other neighbours all night long. My grandpa appreciated his family and community, and I have a deep respect for that. My dad followed in his footsteps, aside from the fact that he ended up trading the farm life for life in small towns.
The fact that I am gay has forced me out of following the same socially conservative path. I had to stop weaving religion into the fabric of my life, and replace those threads by constantly scrambling for truths. I don't have the whole universe completely figured out like they did. The methods they used to see the flame within themselves, won't work for me.
Their truths are not my truths.
I am just wandering aimlessly... hoping that this is just a typical problem of youth that ends up getting resolved. Hoping that my anxiety is just part of the process of finding my way.
It is not as much a feeling of not having a firm grip on the steering wheel, but moreso a feeling of not going in the direction I should be.
I think one of the issues I have, is the natural tendency to play it safe. To avoid making big mistakes that could seemingly end up drowning me. I think this tendency has damaged my family relationships, and may be the root cause of my inability to calm the flame within me long enough to determine whether or not I am on the right path.
I have developed a fear in recent years of playing it safe. The fear of taking the easy path stems from the fear of regrets. Looking at the previous generations, and listening to their lamentations, I have been given a glimpse into a possible future of mine. Will I be like them, people who partied in their 20s, got married, got a job, went on the odd vacation, then sat down to catch their breath only to realize it went by too fast? It seems to me that they ask that question in a way that implies that they regret choices that they made... the choice of following the model of life their parents laid out for them.
I have roots in the prairies. I feel comfortable in the wide open spaces of the country. I admire the slow pace of life, the tight-knit communities... but at the same time, I think it scares me. My father's side of the family is that atypical family that grew up from the wheat fields and small communities. My grandfather would make rye in his shed behind my grandma's back, and trade it with hooch made by neighbours. He would go down to the diner, or community hall, and play a number of instruments with other neighbours all night long. My grandpa appreciated his family and community, and I have a deep respect for that. My dad followed in his footsteps, aside from the fact that he ended up trading the farm life for life in small towns.
The fact that I am gay has forced me out of following the same socially conservative path. I had to stop weaving religion into the fabric of my life, and replace those threads by constantly scrambling for truths. I don't have the whole universe completely figured out like they did. The methods they used to see the flame within themselves, won't work for me.
Their truths are not my truths.
I am just wandering aimlessly... hoping that this is just a typical problem of youth that ends up getting resolved. Hoping that my anxiety is just part of the process of finding my way.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Subterfuge
The people thought they were getting accountability and transparency with the conservatives. Instead, Harper brought a cloud of opacity to Ottawa. It was the only way he thought he could push a social conservative agenda. By patiently using subterfuge. Piece by piece they have been pushing Canada towards social conservatism. Unfortunately, the only way the public finds out about it, is when they fuck up.
Bev Oda was entrusted by the Canadian people to perform her role as International Cooperation Minister with the principles and values she campaigned on.
Like, accountability.
The Canadian International Development Agency recommended to her that she approve federal funding to the international aid group Kairos. She then ordered the document stating this recommendation, to be doctored so that it said the opposite of what the CIDA had signed and submitted. Then she lied to the public by saying that it was not recommended by CIDA. She said that it was not 'aligned with the objectives of CIDA'.
She lied to the Canadian people.
Just like the long-form census debacle last year, a conservative minister misled the public into believing their employees were on board with their decision. They try to hide the fact that it is their blind ideologies that are behind the decisions. Bev Oda led parliament, and the Canadian people, to believe CIDA was on board with the decision. That is a complete lie. Tony Clement led us to believe that the head of Statistics Canada supported removing the long-form census. It was a complete lie, and the head of Statistics Canada resigned over it.
Jason Kenney also stated that the reasoning behind defunding Kairos, was that they were anti-Israeli. Bev Oda contradicted that by trying to pass it off as a routine decision. Could it actually have something to do with the fact that they have been critical of Alberta's oil sands? That they have been considered to be a left-leaning aid organization?
Only a fool would believe these people aren't pushing their agendas. Only a fool would believe this conservative government will put sound, reasonable, well-researched common sense over their backwards social conservative philosophies.
Bev Oda's fuck up is just the latest, take that evil tub of hatred Charles McVety, for example. He began to boast too loudly about how easy it is to push his agenda with his buddies Jim Flaherty, Stockwell Day, and Jason Kenney in the cabinet. When the conservatives were pushing the change in giving out film tax credits, they said that they were only going to deny films that were 'against public policy'. The morality police got their censorship bill all the way to the senate before McVety started boasting, and claiming that he had strong influence in the cabinet and the PMO. His comments caused a torrent of interest in the bill, and reporters flocked to story. The last thing the conservatives want, is to have their oppressive agenda dragged out into the light. Harper thought he had a sure way of bolstering support amongst social conservatives, and ended up devastating his reputation amongst many Canadians, but nowhere more-so than Quebec.
Harper is not always considered prone to making tactical mistakes. He is largely considered to be shrewd, and good at pushing his agenda. He can spin his efforts to reduce reporter's access to his office and the actions of the government, into looking like he is cleaning up Ottawa.
“[CAIRS] was deemed expensive, it was deemed to slow down the access to information, and that's why this government got rid of it,”
“The database in question was created by the previous Liberal government. It was called ‘the product of a political system in which centralized control is an obsession,' and that's why the government got rid of it,”
-Harper
Nice double speak. Bitch.
The reason he pushed the same-sex marriage vote early in his government, and then said he was not going to bring it back up again, was that he knew it was a death trap for his government. He could not permanently defeat same-sex marriage in Canada, so he made a strategic decision to get that out of the way as soon as possible. This does not mean that he is not a threat to gay rights in Canada. He still opposes equal marriage. He fought against it, in much the same way he fought against protecting us from hate crimes. He labeled homosexuality as 'sexual behaviour' and stated that opposing gay rights was one of the mains tenets of the Reform party while he was a member and policy adviser.
If you think I am spouting conspiracy theories about these people using subterfuge to advance the social conservative agenda, then read this lecture from Preston Manning:
http://www.canadianchristianity.com/nationalupdates/070511comment.html
He outlines pretty clearly that the only way to make Canada a christian nation, with social conservatism to rival that of the United States, is to employ the tactics of William Wilberforce. Except, instead of fighting for the rights and freedoms of slaves, he will be fighting to take away our rights and freedoms. The freedoms of LGBT persons to get married, to adopt children, to make films about gay cowboys falling in love in the Alberta rockies (Do you think Brokeback Mountain would have been given a tax credit?). The rights of women to choose abortion, even in cases of rape.
Bev Oda was entrusted by the Canadian people to perform her role as International Cooperation Minister with the principles and values she campaigned on.
Like, accountability.
The Canadian International Development Agency recommended to her that she approve federal funding to the international aid group Kairos. She then ordered the document stating this recommendation, to be doctored so that it said the opposite of what the CIDA had signed and submitted. Then she lied to the public by saying that it was not recommended by CIDA. She said that it was not 'aligned with the objectives of CIDA'.
She lied to the Canadian people.
Just like the long-form census debacle last year, a conservative minister misled the public into believing their employees were on board with their decision. They try to hide the fact that it is their blind ideologies that are behind the decisions. Bev Oda led parliament, and the Canadian people, to believe CIDA was on board with the decision. That is a complete lie. Tony Clement led us to believe that the head of Statistics Canada supported removing the long-form census. It was a complete lie, and the head of Statistics Canada resigned over it.
Jason Kenney also stated that the reasoning behind defunding Kairos, was that they were anti-Israeli. Bev Oda contradicted that by trying to pass it off as a routine decision. Could it actually have something to do with the fact that they have been critical of Alberta's oil sands? That they have been considered to be a left-leaning aid organization?
Only a fool would believe these people aren't pushing their agendas. Only a fool would believe this conservative government will put sound, reasonable, well-researched common sense over their backwards social conservative philosophies.
Bev Oda's fuck up is just the latest, take that evil tub of hatred Charles McVety, for example. He began to boast too loudly about how easy it is to push his agenda with his buddies Jim Flaherty, Stockwell Day, and Jason Kenney in the cabinet. When the conservatives were pushing the change in giving out film tax credits, they said that they were only going to deny films that were 'against public policy'. The morality police got their censorship bill all the way to the senate before McVety started boasting, and claiming that he had strong influence in the cabinet and the PMO. His comments caused a torrent of interest in the bill, and reporters flocked to story. The last thing the conservatives want, is to have their oppressive agenda dragged out into the light. Harper thought he had a sure way of bolstering support amongst social conservatives, and ended up devastating his reputation amongst many Canadians, but nowhere more-so than Quebec.
Harper is not always considered prone to making tactical mistakes. He is largely considered to be shrewd, and good at pushing his agenda. He can spin his efforts to reduce reporter's access to his office and the actions of the government, into looking like he is cleaning up Ottawa.
“[CAIRS] was deemed expensive, it was deemed to slow down the access to information, and that's why this government got rid of it,”
“The database in question was created by the previous Liberal government. It was called ‘the product of a political system in which centralized control is an obsession,' and that's why the government got rid of it,”
-Harper
Nice double speak. Bitch.
The reason he pushed the same-sex marriage vote early in his government, and then said he was not going to bring it back up again, was that he knew it was a death trap for his government. He could not permanently defeat same-sex marriage in Canada, so he made a strategic decision to get that out of the way as soon as possible. This does not mean that he is not a threat to gay rights in Canada. He still opposes equal marriage. He fought against it, in much the same way he fought against protecting us from hate crimes. He labeled homosexuality as 'sexual behaviour' and stated that opposing gay rights was one of the mains tenets of the Reform party while he was a member and policy adviser.
If you think I am spouting conspiracy theories about these people using subterfuge to advance the social conservative agenda, then read this lecture from Preston Manning:
http://www.canadianchristianity.com/nationalupdates/070511comment.html
He outlines pretty clearly that the only way to make Canada a christian nation, with social conservatism to rival that of the United States, is to employ the tactics of William Wilberforce. Except, instead of fighting for the rights and freedoms of slaves, he will be fighting to take away our rights and freedoms. The freedoms of LGBT persons to get married, to adopt children, to make films about gay cowboys falling in love in the Alberta rockies (Do you think Brokeback Mountain would have been given a tax credit?). The rights of women to choose abortion, even in cases of rape.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Not black and white.
You can't legislate good will - that comes through education.
Malcolm X
I was reading a book that tried to predict how the geopolitical landscape will look like over the course of the twenty-first century. The author showed exactly why our society has progressed to the point it is today just by looking at birthrates and infant mortality rates. In the 1800s, the birthrate was estimated to be somewhere between 6.5 to 8.0. Women at that time did not have the same rights, her role in society was to bear children from her teens until either her death or the time when her body could not bear children any longer. The population did not have the exponential growth rates it had in the 20th century simply because of the mortality rate. Medicine was nowhere near as advanced as it is today. Out of the 8 babies that were born, 5 to 6 of them did not live long enough to reproduce.
Eventually medicine advanced and the mortality rates dropped. The birthrate did not go down with it, there was much incentive for people to have lots of children. My father has 3 sisters, 2 older brothers, and a twin. His mother also had at least two miscarriages. They grew up on a farm in northern Saskatchewan. In those times it was profitable to have children. More hands to work on the farm and thus more profits, and social security was having many children to take care of you.
In urban areas, back at the start of the industrial revolution, children as young as 6 years old were put to work in factories. The factories were far more primitive, and their workers did not need any skills or special training. This meant that the population did not have a great education.
But things changed again. The agriculture industry started advancing to the point where not nearly as many hands were needed. Factories started becoming more and more complex. The managers had needs for people trained to run complicated equipment, trained to operate computers, they needed people with MBAs and advanced marketing skills. As children started to increase the amount of years they spent getting educated, they started to go from making economic sense, to becoming an economic burden. Today it would be pretty tough raising eight children without having a reality television deal worked out.
In this country, there was once a time not too long ago where 66% of the workforce was employed by factories and farms. Nowadays that number is 6%. Labour jobs are being replaced by skill jobs every day. A college education is vital to success in Canadian society today.
As people grow up with a better education, they become more and more tolerant of other people, and accepting of diversity.
This song is Amanda Marshall's take on prejudice against the black community. Her father was white, and her mother was black. I really like this song, and I got to thinking that this has many similarities to the problem gay people face in our struggle for equality and our rights and freedoms.
Amanda touches on the prejudices against the black community. She said her grandmother thanked God that Amanda was born with white skin. Inter-racial marriages were controversial back then because of the problem of racism. People believed, on a much grander scale, that some people were just not equal to them. The southern states fought against the north for 'rights'. Really, they fought because the north was starting to have a negative attitude towards the engine of the southern economy... slavery. The vice president of the confederacy stated that the CSA was built upon the idea that the black man was not equal to the white man, and that the black man should remain submissive. Prejudice and discrimination melt away when a population becomes educated. It was much easier to maintain slavery because the population was not well educated, so the rich upper class could convince the lower class that slavery was OK. The CSA provided blatant proof that this was a case of tyranny of the upper class when they said that if you owned a certain amount of slaves, then you were exempt from the draft.
Had the population been educated, that war would not have started, and black people would not have had to suffered as greatly as they did, and certainly not as long as they did. Eventually as the population's education and awareness increased over the 20th century, segregation and discriminatory policies were eliminated in America. The population became more and more educated, and realistically, nothing could have maintained the grip religion had in dictating who could and could not have equal rights.
She refers to Malcolm X in her song. Malcolm was a smart and idealistic man. He was a great human being who taught us so much in so little time. He understood what caused real change. He knew exactly what was needed in order to end racism and begin a new age of equality. He knew that the key was education.
He continually stressed that black people could go nowhere if they did not educate themselves.
You can't change a stubborn mind
You can't see the world if your eyes are blind
What does it matter anyway
In our
darkest hour we're all just shades of grey
I believe the world has been continually bettering itself, perhaps it has been evolving while not even realizing exactly how or even that it is. We have been on a course that is taking us from the dark ages to an era of enlightenment and equality. We are not there yet. There are many more problems that we face and inequity in the world. There will always be those ignorant people who believe black people should be subjugated to white people. There will always be those people who say that the state should execute LGBT persons. We cannot change all of their minds, all we can try to do is try to educate them. We need to make sure that we never go back in the closet. By being out in the open, we force people to think about us as human instead of the demons that preachers claim we are. An educated population is better able to understand how wrong it is to marginalize an entire group of people. When we are ignorant, we are a much easier animal to manipulate. I believe that this change and advancement of human rights is an inevitable process. No matter what we do to try and fight against the process, we will not find success in the long run. Reagan and his cronies may have set back the USA in the short term, but I believe that it makes no difference in the long run.
Fighting over resources, and the exploitation of people are a terrible aspect of the human condition, and I am not saying we should not be fighting against it... but I am saying that it will inevitably come to an end because of our ability to educate ourselves and develop tools. Human history is on an inevitable course. When it comes down to it, we are all on this planet looking for basically the same things. We are looking to fulfill our physical, emotional and spiritual needs, and Amanda is right... the real world is not the black and white world the ministers and politicians preach about. We are all just shades of grey.
Malcolm X
I was reading a book that tried to predict how the geopolitical landscape will look like over the course of the twenty-first century. The author showed exactly why our society has progressed to the point it is today just by looking at birthrates and infant mortality rates. In the 1800s, the birthrate was estimated to be somewhere between 6.5 to 8.0. Women at that time did not have the same rights, her role in society was to bear children from her teens until either her death or the time when her body could not bear children any longer. The population did not have the exponential growth rates it had in the 20th century simply because of the mortality rate. Medicine was nowhere near as advanced as it is today. Out of the 8 babies that were born, 5 to 6 of them did not live long enough to reproduce.
Eventually medicine advanced and the mortality rates dropped. The birthrate did not go down with it, there was much incentive for people to have lots of children. My father has 3 sisters, 2 older brothers, and a twin. His mother also had at least two miscarriages. They grew up on a farm in northern Saskatchewan. In those times it was profitable to have children. More hands to work on the farm and thus more profits, and social security was having many children to take care of you.
In urban areas, back at the start of the industrial revolution, children as young as 6 years old were put to work in factories. The factories were far more primitive, and their workers did not need any skills or special training. This meant that the population did not have a great education.
But things changed again. The agriculture industry started advancing to the point where not nearly as many hands were needed. Factories started becoming more and more complex. The managers had needs for people trained to run complicated equipment, trained to operate computers, they needed people with MBAs and advanced marketing skills. As children started to increase the amount of years they spent getting educated, they started to go from making economic sense, to becoming an economic burden. Today it would be pretty tough raising eight children without having a reality television deal worked out.
In this country, there was once a time not too long ago where 66% of the workforce was employed by factories and farms. Nowadays that number is 6%. Labour jobs are being replaced by skill jobs every day. A college education is vital to success in Canadian society today.
As people grow up with a better education, they become more and more tolerant of other people, and accepting of diversity.
This song is Amanda Marshall's take on prejudice against the black community. Her father was white, and her mother was black. I really like this song, and I got to thinking that this has many similarities to the problem gay people face in our struggle for equality and our rights and freedoms.
Amanda touches on the prejudices against the black community. She said her grandmother thanked God that Amanda was born with white skin. Inter-racial marriages were controversial back then because of the problem of racism. People believed, on a much grander scale, that some people were just not equal to them. The southern states fought against the north for 'rights'. Really, they fought because the north was starting to have a negative attitude towards the engine of the southern economy... slavery. The vice president of the confederacy stated that the CSA was built upon the idea that the black man was not equal to the white man, and that the black man should remain submissive. Prejudice and discrimination melt away when a population becomes educated. It was much easier to maintain slavery because the population was not well educated, so the rich upper class could convince the lower class that slavery was OK. The CSA provided blatant proof that this was a case of tyranny of the upper class when they said that if you owned a certain amount of slaves, then you were exempt from the draft.
Had the population been educated, that war would not have started, and black people would not have had to suffered as greatly as they did, and certainly not as long as they did. Eventually as the population's education and awareness increased over the 20th century, segregation and discriminatory policies were eliminated in America. The population became more and more educated, and realistically, nothing could have maintained the grip religion had in dictating who could and could not have equal rights.
She refers to Malcolm X in her song. Malcolm was a smart and idealistic man. He was a great human being who taught us so much in so little time. He understood what caused real change. He knew exactly what was needed in order to end racism and begin a new age of equality. He knew that the key was education.
He continually stressed that black people could go nowhere if they did not educate themselves.
You can't change a stubborn mind
You can't see the world if your eyes are blind
What does it matter anyway
In our
darkest hour we're all just shades of grey
I believe the world has been continually bettering itself, perhaps it has been evolving while not even realizing exactly how or even that it is. We have been on a course that is taking us from the dark ages to an era of enlightenment and equality. We are not there yet. There are many more problems that we face and inequity in the world. There will always be those ignorant people who believe black people should be subjugated to white people. There will always be those people who say that the state should execute LGBT persons. We cannot change all of their minds, all we can try to do is try to educate them. We need to make sure that we never go back in the closet. By being out in the open, we force people to think about us as human instead of the demons that preachers claim we are. An educated population is better able to understand how wrong it is to marginalize an entire group of people. When we are ignorant, we are a much easier animal to manipulate. I believe that this change and advancement of human rights is an inevitable process. No matter what we do to try and fight against the process, we will not find success in the long run. Reagan and his cronies may have set back the USA in the short term, but I believe that it makes no difference in the long run.
Fighting over resources, and the exploitation of people are a terrible aspect of the human condition, and I am not saying we should not be fighting against it... but I am saying that it will inevitably come to an end because of our ability to educate ourselves and develop tools. Human history is on an inevitable course. When it comes down to it, we are all on this planet looking for basically the same things. We are looking to fulfill our physical, emotional and spiritual needs, and Amanda is right... the real world is not the black and white world the ministers and politicians preach about. We are all just shades of grey.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
The Heart of the New West
(click to listen to New Wild West by Jewel, this was the best version I could find, it has some other stuff in the middle and end, but whatever)
I thought about this song after attending the grand opening of yet another mall in the city of suburbia. Few cities on this earth have the problem of urban sprawl like Calgary. We are a people that has moved into houses in packed communities void of culture and filled with vain materialism. We value strip malls more than museums. We like ample parking space instead of well developed mass transit systems.
Calgary's motto is 'The Heart of the New West'. What is the new west?
If Calgary is the heart of this new west, then it can best be described as the land that believes in Social Darwinism. Every man for himself. We have a political monarchy in Alberta, no party could ever challenge the right wing conservatives. King Ralph could throw books at little girls and spit at homeless people all he wanted, as long as he kept taxes low, he was going to be the King until he voluntarily vacated the throne.
Albertans seem not concerned with the plight of those who are less fortunate in society. We give to charity far less per capita than the much less affluent Newfoundlanders. We let our social infrastructure crumble all around us. A study completed a couple years ago found the majority of schools in Calgary to have leaking and otherwise damaged roofs. Classes sizes continue to swell, and not enough is being done to open up more spots in Albertan universities. Ralph Klein saw the demolition of the hospital of my birth, and did not build another one to help ease the shortages of beds in Calgary. He has done nothing to help curb the massive cost of overtime pay to nurses because of major nurse shortages province wide.
Alberta stands on the most economically important land on this continent. The Calgary-Edmonton corridor is the most prosperous region in North America and one of the fastest growing in the world. Alberta's massive oil reserves have ensured that Alberta remains prosperous for years to come. We are the only province that is debt free. So why do we have so many social issues?
Klein stated that his biggest regret during his stint as premier was that he never brought about two-tiered health care. It sounds decent on the surface, but it was really about having the rich be able to bump everyone else to the back of the line. The waiting list for patients who need care would actually end up getting longer if you could not pay. That is what Tommy Douglas fought against in Saskatchewan decades ago. The same fight happening in America, happened in Canada. In the end, universal health care won out and spread across the country after the Pearson government mandated it nationwide. This was a settled question. But Klein wanted it to end to favour the rich.
He was sitting on multi-billion dollar surpluses thanks to our being on top of a great deal of oil. He could have worked to fight against the decay he oversaw, but instead he used it as an opportunity to further the class distinction between rich and poor.
This is not one politician. This is the mindset of my province. This is the mindset of today's conservatives. Selfishness. Little regard for your fellow citizens. For your fellow man.
Pearson had a goal for this nation. He wanted us to give 1% of our GDP to foreign aid. He built a country whose diplomatic corps was astonishing for a country Canada's size. He got the UN to step between the British/French forces and Egypt's during the Suez crisis. We were a nation that never ignored the call from the UN for peace keeping missions. We were a nation that strived for global peace, and we made a huge difference.
Under Trudeau, we got the closest we ever were to reaching Pearson's target. It was little more than half. Today it is 0.28%. We eventually had to end our streak of always taking up the UN's call for peacekeepers. Our military crumbled to the embarassment it is today. We had the third best airforce and fourth best navy coming out of WWII. That obviously could not be sustained, but it shows how far it has fallen to insignificance. If our military capacity were greater, could we have heeded our own general Romeo Dallaire's plea for help in Rwanda? What about Darfur? Could a strong Canadian peacekeeping presence have stopped the genocide in Srebrenica in 1995?
I see my people as jaded and caught up in their own small worlds. No one is concerned about the impending crisis as we near the point of no return in climate change. We do not seem to care about the problems plaguing the health care and education systems. There is no urgency on our part to fix the third world conditions on first nation's reserves in Canada. Calgary is a city that actually increases its electricity consumption during earth hour.
As long as we keep getting new shopping malls to buy new shoes, we could not care less about other people.
I thought about this song after attending the grand opening of yet another mall in the city of suburbia. Few cities on this earth have the problem of urban sprawl like Calgary. We are a people that has moved into houses in packed communities void of culture and filled with vain materialism. We value strip malls more than museums. We like ample parking space instead of well developed mass transit systems.
Calgary's motto is 'The Heart of the New West'. What is the new west?
If Calgary is the heart of this new west, then it can best be described as the land that believes in Social Darwinism. Every man for himself. We have a political monarchy in Alberta, no party could ever challenge the right wing conservatives. King Ralph could throw books at little girls and spit at homeless people all he wanted, as long as he kept taxes low, he was going to be the King until he voluntarily vacated the throne.
Albertans seem not concerned with the plight of those who are less fortunate in society. We give to charity far less per capita than the much less affluent Newfoundlanders. We let our social infrastructure crumble all around us. A study completed a couple years ago found the majority of schools in Calgary to have leaking and otherwise damaged roofs. Classes sizes continue to swell, and not enough is being done to open up more spots in Albertan universities. Ralph Klein saw the demolition of the hospital of my birth, and did not build another one to help ease the shortages of beds in Calgary. He has done nothing to help curb the massive cost of overtime pay to nurses because of major nurse shortages province wide.
Alberta stands on the most economically important land on this continent. The Calgary-Edmonton corridor is the most prosperous region in North America and one of the fastest growing in the world. Alberta's massive oil reserves have ensured that Alberta remains prosperous for years to come. We are the only province that is debt free. So why do we have so many social issues?
Klein stated that his biggest regret during his stint as premier was that he never brought about two-tiered health care. It sounds decent on the surface, but it was really about having the rich be able to bump everyone else to the back of the line. The waiting list for patients who need care would actually end up getting longer if you could not pay. That is what Tommy Douglas fought against in Saskatchewan decades ago. The same fight happening in America, happened in Canada. In the end, universal health care won out and spread across the country after the Pearson government mandated it nationwide. This was a settled question. But Klein wanted it to end to favour the rich.
He was sitting on multi-billion dollar surpluses thanks to our being on top of a great deal of oil. He could have worked to fight against the decay he oversaw, but instead he used it as an opportunity to further the class distinction between rich and poor.
This is not one politician. This is the mindset of my province. This is the mindset of today's conservatives. Selfishness. Little regard for your fellow citizens. For your fellow man.
Pearson had a goal for this nation. He wanted us to give 1% of our GDP to foreign aid. He built a country whose diplomatic corps was astonishing for a country Canada's size. He got the UN to step between the British/French forces and Egypt's during the Suez crisis. We were a nation that never ignored the call from the UN for peace keeping missions. We were a nation that strived for global peace, and we made a huge difference.
Under Trudeau, we got the closest we ever were to reaching Pearson's target. It was little more than half. Today it is 0.28%. We eventually had to end our streak of always taking up the UN's call for peacekeepers. Our military crumbled to the embarassment it is today. We had the third best airforce and fourth best navy coming out of WWII. That obviously could not be sustained, but it shows how far it has fallen to insignificance. If our military capacity were greater, could we have heeded our own general Romeo Dallaire's plea for help in Rwanda? What about Darfur? Could a strong Canadian peacekeeping presence have stopped the genocide in Srebrenica in 1995?
I see my people as jaded and caught up in their own small worlds. No one is concerned about the impending crisis as we near the point of no return in climate change. We do not seem to care about the problems plaguing the health care and education systems. There is no urgency on our part to fix the third world conditions on first nation's reserves in Canada. Calgary is a city that actually increases its electricity consumption during earth hour.
As long as we keep getting new shopping malls to buy new shoes, we could not care less about other people.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Optimism
I have a box that I keep full of things I had when I was younger. I found some poems and thought I would try to analyze them.
This one was probably written in middle school.
In my world
A day lasts forever
And one thought
Is immortal
The skies of my mind
Are boundless
Never do they maintain
A solid shape
When the clouds enter
A prominent view
The surface slips
Into darkness
When the clouds
Dissipate out of view
Then, only then
Do I know they were there
What are clouds
But a mortal mass?
What is pessimism
But a state of mind?
I now know
I must always remain
In the presence of light
Sunshine will rule the skies
I think I was describing how I felt when I would get a wave of depression. This is how pre-teen me felt like. I titled the poem 'Optimism in My Skies'.
I think I have become a very optimistic person in comparison to others I have met. Some other people see the world full of hunger and desperation, controlled by a human population that desires dominance and fights for control of resources. Someone told me they had no faith in humanity. That humanity uses war as a part of natural selection, like it has been bred into us. He said that there is only war, and when there is peace, it is not really peace, just a time to prepare for war. He said this will continue to be us for millions of years.
I do not think that way. It is natural for me to be optimistic. The Jesse of today believes in diplomacy and democracy, and believes the human condition will improve along with the advancement of technology. I see the ever contracting world as a good thing. As something that will bring us together, help us to have a better understanding of one another... and a desire to coexist peacefully.
I think this natural optimism within me, helped me overcome depression. I described the clouds as something that I could not see when it arrived or when it was hovering over me. That describes a state of mental distress. I could not recognize the signs, and this chemical imbalance held my optimistic spirit hostage. (It may not have been an imbalance, it could have simply been anxiety over the battle taking place within me as I tried to repress my sexuality)
Eventually I did start to recognize these patterns, and realize that these clouds are not something that will always be harming me emotionally. I knew I could fight through it and become a better, healthier person.
One day those clouds went away... for good.
This one was probably written in middle school.
In my world
A day lasts forever
And one thought
Is immortal
The skies of my mind
Are boundless
Never do they maintain
A solid shape
When the clouds enter
A prominent view
The surface slips
Into darkness
When the clouds
Dissipate out of view
Then, only then
Do I know they were there
What are clouds
But a mortal mass?
What is pessimism
But a state of mind?
I now know
I must always remain
In the presence of light
Sunshine will rule the skies
I think I was describing how I felt when I would get a wave of depression. This is how pre-teen me felt like. I titled the poem 'Optimism in My Skies'.
I think I have become a very optimistic person in comparison to others I have met. Some other people see the world full of hunger and desperation, controlled by a human population that desires dominance and fights for control of resources. Someone told me they had no faith in humanity. That humanity uses war as a part of natural selection, like it has been bred into us. He said that there is only war, and when there is peace, it is not really peace, just a time to prepare for war. He said this will continue to be us for millions of years.
I do not think that way. It is natural for me to be optimistic. The Jesse of today believes in diplomacy and democracy, and believes the human condition will improve along with the advancement of technology. I see the ever contracting world as a good thing. As something that will bring us together, help us to have a better understanding of one another... and a desire to coexist peacefully.
I think this natural optimism within me, helped me overcome depression. I described the clouds as something that I could not see when it arrived or when it was hovering over me. That describes a state of mental distress. I could not recognize the signs, and this chemical imbalance held my optimistic spirit hostage. (It may not have been an imbalance, it could have simply been anxiety over the battle taking place within me as I tried to repress my sexuality)
Eventually I did start to recognize these patterns, and realize that these clouds are not something that will always be harming me emotionally. I knew I could fight through it and become a better, healthier person.
One day those clouds went away... for good.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Love will save the day - David Usher
This is no simple reform. It really is a revolution. Sex and race because they are easy and visible differences have been the primary ways of organizing human beings into superior and inferior groups and into the cheap labour in which this system still depends. We are talking about a society in which there will be no roles other than those chosen or those earned. We are really talking about humanism. - Gloria Steinem
I wrote about this song a while ago, thought I would post it up here.
David Usher is also a humanist. I think what he is trying to say is that we continue to blame outside sources for our problems (he cites drugs and porn) but really it is ourselves who are responsible. We as a species are responsible for our own problems.
come on sell me more of your religion
'cause it's sure to make a change
last night god was on the tv screen
taking dollars for their pain
come on talk about that evolution
it's been poisoning my mind
i've been looking for a saviour
yeah i've been waiting for a sign
I think he is saying here that we are all waiting for someone (God, science, Jesus, Buddha) to come along and save us. Religion teaches that eventually someone will come along and bring us salvation, non-theists are saying faith is useless, but he is saying that love is the only thing that can be our salvation.
What we really need to be saved from... is ourselves.
I know the thought processes I had when I was deeply immersed into Jehovah's Witness doctrine, love was something that we were required to have, love was the greatest of God's laws. We were to have whole hearted love for God and our fellow man... but at the same time I was taught that most of the world was ungodly and doomed to destruction when Jesus was to come and kill off the current system of things. I was taught to love, but the entity I was taught to love was supposedly destined to kill billions of human lives. Similar beliefs are held by billions of human beings around the globe. That is the problem here. There is not going to be a supernatural deity that is going to come around and save us. Despite what I was taught, I believe we should not live our lives with that in mind.
I was taught specifically to 'live with the lords day in mind'- in other words, I was taught to live each day with the belief that other human beings were about to be killed for their sins. I believe that belief prevents us from loving the way we need to have love if we are to pull it together and save ourselves.
So I walk you down into the water
But you keep coming up for air
All those people, they don't give a damn
they just stood around and stared
Its like standing on a street corner and watching someone beat the crap out of a homeless man. Its like watching someone getting pulled out of their car and stabbed. Its like those dutch troops who had to stand by while the Serbs committed genocide in Srebrenica. When will we as a species stand up and change things?
The most depressing part of the song I think is the end: "Maybe tomorrow! Maybe tomorrow!"
Why cant we as human beings make it happen today?
I wrote about this song a while ago, thought I would post it up here.
David Usher is also a humanist. I think what he is trying to say is that we continue to blame outside sources for our problems (he cites drugs and porn) but really it is ourselves who are responsible. We as a species are responsible for our own problems.
come on sell me more of your religion
'cause it's sure to make a change
last night god was on the tv screen
taking dollars for their pain
come on talk about that evolution
it's been poisoning my mind
i've been looking for a saviour
yeah i've been waiting for a sign
I think he is saying here that we are all waiting for someone (God, science, Jesus, Buddha) to come along and save us. Religion teaches that eventually someone will come along and bring us salvation, non-theists are saying faith is useless, but he is saying that love is the only thing that can be our salvation.
What we really need to be saved from... is ourselves.
I know the thought processes I had when I was deeply immersed into Jehovah's Witness doctrine, love was something that we were required to have, love was the greatest of God's laws. We were to have whole hearted love for God and our fellow man... but at the same time I was taught that most of the world was ungodly and doomed to destruction when Jesus was to come and kill off the current system of things. I was taught to love, but the entity I was taught to love was supposedly destined to kill billions of human lives. Similar beliefs are held by billions of human beings around the globe. That is the problem here. There is not going to be a supernatural deity that is going to come around and save us. Despite what I was taught, I believe we should not live our lives with that in mind.
I was taught specifically to 'live with the lords day in mind'- in other words, I was taught to live each day with the belief that other human beings were about to be killed for their sins. I believe that belief prevents us from loving the way we need to have love if we are to pull it together and save ourselves.
So I walk you down into the water
But you keep coming up for air
All those people, they don't give a damn
they just stood around and stared
Its like standing on a street corner and watching someone beat the crap out of a homeless man. Its like watching someone getting pulled out of their car and stabbed. Its like those dutch troops who had to stand by while the Serbs committed genocide in Srebrenica. When will we as a species stand up and change things?
The most depressing part of the song I think is the end: "Maybe tomorrow! Maybe tomorrow!"
Why cant we as human beings make it happen today?
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Lullaby for a New World Order - Matthew Good
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use. - Galileo
Before I saw that there was a political message in the song, I saw parallels in the religion I was brought up with. I interpreted the song to mean something that was tearing me up inside... it was basically the line between reason and faith.
Somebody gave you a choice
And all you do is abuse it
If God he gave you a voice
Then use it
Matthew Good is himself a humanist, but the way I saw it at the time, the lyrics meant that there is no logic to the idea that we must have blind faith, that we must believe everything the man on the stage with the bible in his hand says. There is no questioning the religious leaders, because they represent God. This was the beginning of the collapse of my religious faith.
I believed what I was taught to believe, but logic and reason eventually pushed out faith. The men on the platform with the bibles in hand often told the so-called 'flock of sheep' (another JW term for congregation) that homosexuality was an evil that God despises. The homosexuals were never to inherit God's kingdom, and they were all to be destroyed upon Jesus' return. Yet, I began to believe that maybe there was nothing wrong with me... that perhaps they have just been mistaken....
Here's something to ask if these are the bad times
Because whenever you ask why it's never the good times
How will we get ourselves out of it?
How can you take your heart out of this?
And how do you stop once you've started?
Almost every week I was told how the world was descending into a moral abyss, and things are getting worse and worse. These were 'the last days'. The time that humanity was to become selfish, greedy, proud, blasphemers... etc. But that is the nature of humanity at its worst. That is how its been amongst humanity at least as far back as man invented writing and started recording history. They always tried to make us fearful of the state of humanity and its direction. Sometimes that fear is justified, but I believe we are starting to improve things. Life was much harder 100 years ago. Humanity was much more barbaric in the 1500s. Technology is advancing and making it easier for us to help other people.
This indoctrination of fear and mistrust is what causes most of the problems amongst humanity. Its what maintains the grip of organized religion on its followers. They take their hearts and minds out of it, by giving in to fear. They believe in the hatred of another group of people, because that is what their vengeful creator asks of them. Or at least, that is what the people on the platform will have them believe.
I was taught that the New World Order was coming. In order to get into this new order, I had to obey their rules on how to worship God. It took a few years of pain in my teens, but I found my way out.
Before I saw that there was a political message in the song, I saw parallels in the religion I was brought up with. I interpreted the song to mean something that was tearing me up inside... it was basically the line between reason and faith.
Somebody gave you a choice
And all you do is abuse it
If God he gave you a voice
Then use it
Matthew Good is himself a humanist, but the way I saw it at the time, the lyrics meant that there is no logic to the idea that we must have blind faith, that we must believe everything the man on the stage with the bible in his hand says. There is no questioning the religious leaders, because they represent God. This was the beginning of the collapse of my religious faith.
I believed what I was taught to believe, but logic and reason eventually pushed out faith. The men on the platform with the bibles in hand often told the so-called 'flock of sheep' (another JW term for congregation) that homosexuality was an evil that God despises. The homosexuals were never to inherit God's kingdom, and they were all to be destroyed upon Jesus' return. Yet, I began to believe that maybe there was nothing wrong with me... that perhaps they have just been mistaken....
Here's something to ask if these are the bad times
Because whenever you ask why it's never the good times
How will we get ourselves out of it?
How can you take your heart out of this?
And how do you stop once you've started?
Almost every week I was told how the world was descending into a moral abyss, and things are getting worse and worse. These were 'the last days'. The time that humanity was to become selfish, greedy, proud, blasphemers... etc. But that is the nature of humanity at its worst. That is how its been amongst humanity at least as far back as man invented writing and started recording history. They always tried to make us fearful of the state of humanity and its direction. Sometimes that fear is justified, but I believe we are starting to improve things. Life was much harder 100 years ago. Humanity was much more barbaric in the 1500s. Technology is advancing and making it easier for us to help other people.
This indoctrination of fear and mistrust is what causes most of the problems amongst humanity. Its what maintains the grip of organized religion on its followers. They take their hearts and minds out of it, by giving in to fear. They believe in the hatred of another group of people, because that is what their vengeful creator asks of them. Or at least, that is what the people on the platform will have them believe.
I was taught that the New World Order was coming. In order to get into this new order, I had to obey their rules on how to worship God. It took a few years of pain in my teens, but I found my way out.
In the beginning
I had wanted to start up a blog again, but I never got around to it. Talking about it today, combined with a weird rash of insomnia this past week, has convinced me to get 'er done. JesseCo is the name of a company I created in grade 6. Instead of pay attention in class, I would pass notes to the girls and draw cartoons. JesseCo owned a company called The Body Shop, unlike the Body Shoppe, The Body Shop sold body parts. One of the best selling products was the Jar-o-Eyes. The shop manager was an alien.
I love that feeling of starting something new, so I got in front of my computer, sat down, got ready to type, got up to go pee, came back, read another blog, read a few youtube videos, got up again, got tea and ginger snaps, sat down again, listened to a song that I want to blog about, searched it on the web, joined a fan website of the artist, got frustrated with their stupid 'admin new user authorizing' bs, checked huffington post, then saw the tab for blogspot and remembered that whole blog thing.
Ya. We will see how long this lasts.
I love that feeling of starting something new, so I got in front of my computer, sat down, got ready to type, got up to go pee, came back, read another blog, read a few youtube videos, got up again, got tea and ginger snaps, sat down again, listened to a song that I want to blog about, searched it on the web, joined a fan website of the artist, got frustrated with their stupid 'admin new user authorizing' bs, checked huffington post, then saw the tab for blogspot and remembered that whole blog thing.
Ya. We will see how long this lasts.
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